Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
