On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
