True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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