i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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