i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
