the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize
