There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
