butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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