you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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