In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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