I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
