wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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