I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
