I wish my penis had an off switch
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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