It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
