these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
