At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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