My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You need Xanax blowdarts
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
