New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
