Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize