the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
