escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
