my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
