so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
