so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
