Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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