I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
