We're like a lot better than the average bears
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
