fuck your aforementioned shoe
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
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