Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
