Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
