You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
