and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
