Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Randomize
