I think I am morally bankrupt
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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