Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
