Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
