spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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