Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
