My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
