I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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