I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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