can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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