he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
