i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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