Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize