My friends, they love my intelligence
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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