what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize