the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize