I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
