My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
