Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
this just has baby written all over it
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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