dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Randomize
