we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
