I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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