dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Even my vagina gasped.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
