I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You are the jesus of drinking
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize