i just wanna soil my oats bro
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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