Well douche your snatch and let's go!
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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