genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I just googled if crying burns calories
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
