its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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