I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
