If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
