Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
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