Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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