Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
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