I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
should my penis look like a turkey
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
