You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
